How to Support Your Child in Making Friends at School

Explore supportive approaches to help your child navigate the social complexities of the school environment and build meaningful connections.

1. Observe and Validate. Before intervening, many parents find it helpful to simply observe how their child interacts in social settings. It is useful to notice whether your child prefers one-on-one play, larger groups, or parallel play, as these preferences often dictate how they approach new friendships. Validating their feelings—acknowledging that entering a new social group can feel intimidating—can help lower their anxiety. Parents who mirror their child's experiences often find that talking through hypothetical scenarios helps. By discussing what a child might say to join a game or introduce themselves, you provide them with a mental toolkit they can draw upon when the moment arises.
2. Approaches to Facilitating Connection. Some families choose to facilitate playdates outside of school hours, which can provide a lower-pressure environment for children to connect one-on-one. This approach allows children to develop a rapport that they can then carry back into the classroom, potentially making the school environment feel more familiar. Another approach involves focusing on shared interests. If a child is passionate about building blocks, art, or books, identifying peers with similar interests can serve as a natural bridge. Encouraging your child to talk about their interests or show their work to a peer can be an effective way to initiate a conversation without the pressure of direct social performance.